Leaders are big people, who know themselves and are sure of themselves.
I'm talking about the inside, not the outside. Lots of managers define themselves by the outside. You ask them who they are and they talk about their occupation (I'm an accountant), where they've come from (I'm from Timaru) or their experiences (I've consulted for some of the largest organisations in New Zealand), but none of this really talks about who they are, what they stand for or believe in.
We know who we are but we don't talk about it
This is interesting because at a deep intuitive level we know who we are. Sometimes in a workshop, I ask people to point to themselves. Nobody points at their body or their head, everyone points at their heart.
So if we know who we are, why don't we talk about it? Many managers would say it's too risky, too soft or too touchy-feely; however, irresistible leaders know it's much riskier not to do it, it's the hard part of leadership that people respect and it's critical to their authenticity and trust.
Why it’s important
Most managers spend their time focused at the body level; on the external, physical world, thinking about results, structure, technology and processes. But the physical world is just the manifestation of the internal world. By the time you see it, it's too late to change it. Real change happens in the internal world of thoughts, emotions and beliefs.
Small people are too filled with their own ambitions and their own sense of being terrific to see the strengths in others. Or perhaps they see these strengths and are too afraid to let them shine through, lest they outshine themselves.
Only big people, sure of themselves, and who they are, are willing to find the best in others and recruit people stronger than they are.
Next time you look in the mirror think about the importance of knowing the person looking back at you. How well do you know yourself? If you don't know yourself there's no way anyone else can know you. And if they don't know you they won't trust you.
